Time Here
by llivla
Summary: Five events that never happened. Event Four: The Dumbing Down of Love: Before Yami could attack with Knight of Destiny, Dartz pulls from his bag one last trick that even the Pharaoh may have to kneel to.
1. Trick King

Disclaimer: I don't own. If I had, the below would have happened. Followed by lots of material inappropriate for minors or decent members of society.

-----------

Summary: Episode 145. Yuugi asks why he is in such a hurry. They haven't told the others. Yami no Yuugi says it's all right. He just wants Yuugi to see him off…what could have happened if nothing else was necessary, and if the gang hadn't shown up. DARK Y/YY

-----------

_Emotions so deep that I am shaken by  
__the violence of __**this insistence for only you  
**__Like this, I know I can't be with you  
__I do what I have to do  
...__You do what you have to do_

_And __I have the sense to recognize that  
__I don't know how to let you go.  
_--Sarah McLachlan, 'Do What You Have to Do'

---------

Game (geym) : noun; a trick or strategy: _to see through someone's game_; any object of pursuit: _The open chocolates seemed to be fair game for any takers._

---------

"But…" Anzu faltered under Jounouchi's formidable stare. She gripped the metal links tighter, like it was the only thing stopping her from following the _other_ Yuugi, to wherever he might be. Maybe it was.

"Leave Yuugi alone," Jounouchi said firmly. "If he wants a break he deserves it and it's not like he needs to hear about multiple personality disorders from Motora-sensei." He ran a hand through his hair. "I think it's the best medicine they can give each other right now. Dark Malik was only just barely kept from taking us all, I think the last thing either of them wants is us poking around."

"He wants to leave!"

"If you love the pharaoh so much why don't you trust him?" Jounouchi bit, annoyed and protective of the real Yuugi's privacy with the spirit.

Anzu, who lowered her head and blushed, and looked out over the city. Honda leaned against the fence next to her. Despite Jounouchi's confidence he couldn't fight down the feeling in his gut that was shifting nervously and muttering something was about to change.

---------

Yuugi asked why they were in such a hurry; they still had another twenty minutes before the bell. The last part came out without thinking—a useless statement, worthless, and Yuugi blushed in his mind. But the other, in control of Yuugi's body since fourth period broke, smiled. The other spirit had wanted to get away, from the school and everyone else, as quickly and silently as possible. He softly murmured to his aibou it was only natural considering the sad circumstances, adjusting the backpack absently and hearing Yuugi's homework shift around inside next to the God cards as he did so.

/We didn't tell the others./ Yuugi appeared beside him from the waist up, looking at him guiltily.

The Spirit reassured him it was all right as the walk sign flashed. //I just want you…// He sighed. //…To see me off.//

Yuugi sent him a piece of his soul—he didn't want the other him to be sad. Yuugi was miserable enough for the both of them when he realized where they were going. He tried to touch him, but the link was blocked. Yuugi's heart went out, concluding the Pharaoh didn't want him to know his sadness; the other him didn't like to admit he could struggle with that sort of thing. And yet…

_I want to be with you always._

So he had said… That had made Yuugi very happy; no one had ever said that to him before. 'I'll be so sad, once it's over. But I understand, mou hitori no boku.' He thought, looking down as the Spirit maneuvered through the lunch crowds. 'You know that I'd give you all my memories…just as we know it could never be enough if I did. If our places were reversed it wouldn't be so different for me to leave, either.' No matter how strong their bond was, it didn't change the fact that one of them, he winced, was dead. And that the Pharaoh was so shut off helped him keep it together and toughen up. No tears, the other him taught him to be strong so he wouldn't cry. He nodded to himself stubbornly.

He hovered behind while Yugioh stopped before the museum entrance, studying the streets and buildings and scattered populace going about their normal lives. The last, Yuugi reflected, if their instincts were right, the other would see of them ever again. His heart…Yuugi closed his eyes and gathered his courage. He had something to tell him, and he wondered if he should before it was too late. "Hey," he said, reaching out to touch his shoulder, "Mou hitori no—"

—ReachingsnakingDRAGGINGhimdown, keeping him from screaming and soso tight against him kicking and screaming but clearly he was still going there damn it could have writing on the wall spelling SIN—

Yuugi flinched back as if he'd been burned, eyes wide with shock. The other slowly turned his head around, eyes speculative and questioning. //Aibou, something wrong?//

/Ah/ he sent /I mean, uh… no./ _What was that I saw just then?_ He smiled when he was met with a narrowed gaze and frown. /Just getting a little anxious is all; I mean, this is it, right?/ His mind spun. That had been a darkness in his other's mind, a memory, perhaps? But he crossed that out. No…it seemed too current somehow because… had he imagined it (it had gone by so fast) or had it seemed more personal _to_ Yuugi, but that _must _have been the other in control if he had really seen his own clothes on the figure…?

The other stared at him, eyes going completely still.

"Are we going to keep going?" Yuugi asked, expression soft. Was it another nightmare? The other Yuugi had those, sometimes, not exactly nightmares though, more like dark fears. He resisted the urge to bite his lip in concern. /Mou hitori no boku?/

He continued to stare unblinkingly. "It is nothing." He turned to the revolving doors. "Come, Aibou, I can not begin this without you." He ascended the steps confidently and Yuugi stayed with him.

-----------

"I don't see Ishizu-san." Little Yuugi said, scanning the thin crowd for the serene, bad-news carrying priestess amongst the commonplace guides and senior citizen walkers.

//She must have departed.// Yami no Yuugi replied, waiting patiently for their bag to emerge from security check. When it and his buckles cleared he swung it back on firmly and set out down the hall.

Feeling the other's tension cackling agitatedly, Yuugi waist-up spirit rested on the Game King's shoulders, a hand perched over each, weightless. He let out what would be his final contented sigh in this state, his final time to be close to the other like this. /To Egypt. I hope she and Malik can build happiness again./ He gave a small smile when mou hitori no boku slowly lifted his left hand and laid it on top of his right, giving him the appearance of a samurai under oath to any who glanced at him as he traveled the expansive, priceless halls.

Eyes opening and closing lazily, Yuugi briefly took in the series of visiting Bernini statues, the group of bored lower schoolers shifting boredly in their tiny chairs while the tour guide tried to get them into David's heroic victory, Hades abduction of Persephone, or at least the Angel of Truth. He smiled at how small they were, even smaller than him… had he really not been able to touch his feet to the ground even on those small chairs? He played with the black and yellow Jansport's zipper and relaxed under the warmth of a heated building and the consistent, strong strides of the other Yuugi until the other soothed him enough to rest his head against his neck…

-----------

//Partner.//

The Pharaoh was sitting up straight as he stared ahead, arms folded and legs crossed on a bench opposite the enormous slab. /Nnn?/ Yuugi lifted his head up, hand raising to cover a small yawn. "Did I nod off, Other me?" He asked blearily next to his ear, looking at the ancient carvings as well.

//Not for very long; but I had to wait for the last tour to clear the exhibit and lock the door.// The other looked at him from the corner of his eye. //You need to sleep more.// The glare only softened when Yuugi offered up a cheesy grin, a 'whaddya gonna do' expression laughing across.

He felt the body stiffen when he pulled away, when he _let go_ like a good Chosen One, and Yuugi was sad too, from the loss of warmth and semblance of contact that came from his other soul. "It's ironic, that only after you… do this will you know your name." The other turned to him. "When you die," he explained, "You'll get all your memories back." Unblinking, the game king nodded. "It's a shame," Yuugi said sadly. "That you won't be able to tell it to me, when we've fought so hard for it."

"I want to hear you say it Aibou."

"Yeah," he smiled. /I would want to call you by it./ Inside, he felt warm, ancient hands wrap around his heart firmly; unspoken words. Yuugi reminded himself that he promised not to cry, and because it was for mou hitori no boku he would keep that promise.

"Well," Yuugi said, smiling sadly and stroking the top of the Puzzle gently, as he usually did when he needed comfort. The other watched the movement, not seeming to breath in Yuugi's body. "I-I guess…" He closed his eyes as he pulled off the corporeal copy of the Puzzle from his neck (it felt so wrong) and leaned up to put it over the other's. He was close enough to feel the body heat, take in a scent that wasn't his own, as the Pharaoh watched him, stood stiffly and powerfully. Light flashed from the physical puzzle and the corporeal one melted, gone.

_This is it…_ Yuugi stepped back. "Mou hitori no boku I'm gonna," he looked up, smiling and tears clinging to his eyes as he began his farewell but then he stopped. "Mou hitori no boku?" The spirit was facing him, his left hand raising the god cards to prepare his attempt to…to die. But instead of the tablet, he gazed at his host, with no expression of remorse on his face. Or any, at all. It was like a duel for Dark Yuugi, the poker face expression against an opponent he did not want inside his or _his_ Aibou's head. Thinking, deciding something. Probably reactionary; Yuugi knew the other wasn't tactically arranging anything but the emotions he didn't like to admit he had. "I don't know what I'll do without you now," he said to him hopefully, he'd be open for the both of them. "I-I…you were my first friend, my only friend for a long time—you protected me." He was glad in this spirit form his reddening cheeks couldn't be seen. "You were my greatest wish."

//Hm,// he heard the distracted, unguarded voice//no.// Was he listening? "Mou hitori…no…?" //I can not deal with that.// Deciding something, putting something together.

A chill ran down his spine as the other him lowered the cards. Deal? Deal with what? "Do you regret not letting the others come?" He asked. "I know they'll miss you—Jounouchi-kun, Honda-kun…an-and Anzu especially!" He pressed down the bitterness and continued to laugh it through. "You should have given me more notice or I could have done a last date for you! And others, even Kaiba-kun! I mean, without you, well we knew it would end like this sometime this, well I didn't really know, but you did and this is how it's—" His eyes widened as the nameless pharaoh came closer, but he did not tense. He blinked once. "Is that it? You want them here after all? It's okay, I know Mazaki-chan will be very sad but you need her—" He shut up again as the cool, fluttering butterfly tingle that was a spirit's hand wrapped around his corporeal wrist slowly.

/Mou hitori no boku?/ He asked as the other pulled him closer with him to the tablet.

//You trust me so much, Aibou.// The faintest shadow of a smile, the slightest lessoning of tension from his eyes. His eyes were always so much older than anyone Yuugi knew; and he was the only one Yugioh had let see otherwise or _why_, like a weird birthright or something.

/Of course I do!/ He smiled brightly. /I will miss you so very very/ he blinked tears again but he didn't look away, not when this was his last chance. /very, very much! I wish there was another way. It just seems so simple for it to end here./ Didn't it? After all, no goodbyes? Not even to Sugoroku, who would have loved to thank him again. Or Jounouchi-kun, Jounouchi would have wanted to thank him too. They were all friends, after all, even if the Pharaoh only referred to them as companions. And he…what he had with… he took a shuddering breath. /I'll tell them you say goodbye, Other M—Ah, Pharaoh./ He smiled sadly. /Can't call you that anymore can't I?/

The other tilted his head, studying him. "Call me Pharaoh again." He said aloud, his powerful, intense (but so, so gentle to Yuugi) voice filling the small exhibit.

He blinked, then smiled. /Pharaoh, my Pharaoh!/ The other's eyes flashed and let out a low exhale. The other him had brought him very close, Yuugi's wrist trapped in stronger hands to where the Pharaoh's heart would have been, but no where near as close as they were with their soul-hearts. Yuugi smiled up slightly at the Sennen Spirit. /It won't be the same but I know they'd understand./ He watched the other look away to raise the cards. He didn't know what he'd do when the other him was gone…

He didn't let go of Yuugi's wrist as he said the names of the gods out loud. //I could not exist without you. Aibou, I waited for you so long…//

Even though it wasn't what he meant, Yuugi felt guilty about it taking him seven years. He waved it aside and thought about every moment they shared, every precious second. /Mou hitori no boku, you've made me really happy./

Yuugi didn't understand, he didn't understand when he started to pull away as the light grew and the Pharaoh only tightened his grip.

Ruby eyes intensifying, but neither widening nor narrowing, locked on his and Yuugi's widened when he acknowledged he couldn't _move_ and the Puzzle was glowing (it was back around his neck, what? what, what, what?)… So was the Pharaoh's forehead…his Horus eye was brightening… "Mou hitori, I'll miss you, I'll miss you when you let go…" _he's not… letting… go._ So weird! He smiled nervously but his trust didn't waver! Even though his hands were becoming more transparent instead of solid, gripped tightly in another. He looked at his best friend, his no boku who called himself "ore" to make him laugh…

…and heard himself in another life in his bedroom, reading Grandpa's humongous book how the mummified Egyptian pharaohs sealed their living pets, wives, and games with them in their tombs to take with them in the afterlife. So Yuugi didn't understand until their existence unraveled, didn't see the image of Yugioh's current and most potent desire in his afterlife: his _Game_, his…Yuugi.

-----------

_I recognize…__I don't know how to let you go._

--Sarah McLachlan, 'Do What You Have to Do'

-----------

Read and Review.

Factoids for Geeks (zomg like me)

Bernini's statues were clues, lets see if you got them:

David—he was underestimated

Hades and Persephone—(seen only in the National Archives in Bulgaria) the abduction; Persephone was drawn by a narcissus (another hint if you knew the legend for Narcissus) and abducted by Hades to take her to the underworld and rule by his side. Double irony: Hades kept having Aphrodite shove herself at him but he didn't want her, he wanted Persephone.

Truth—the angel guardian of this virtue by Bernini, Yuugi realizes the vision he saw was what the Pharaoh had been wanting and slowly deciding

Motora Yuzero was the very first influential Japanese psychologist, organizing and administering psychological science at University. He led the 27th International Conference of Psychology in Sweden for Psychophysics, Educational Psychology, and Zen in 1997.

-----------

**Mini Epilogue:**

In a dark temple, lit by torches, a man in a cloak stood before an altar and froze, the ancient words fading from his lips. Dread and anger filled his soul as whispers hissed inside his head. Letting out an enraged, bitter scream as the Oreikalkos shut the door, he tried to summon the magic as the demand for an exchange grew, but it was too late. The Atlantian god-power dragged him down, pulling at the souls of the scattered followers as well and their souls were snatched in retribution. Then the animistic aura drew back its green light and slept on, just in time for the submarine to scoot by without noticing it.


	2. Action Without Vision

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh. LeDiz or Chibizoo would have written the script, and then people of humbler intelligence wouldn't understand it and I'd be shot.

Summary: Ironically he started to look for him his whole life in more ways than one after he left, but it never, ever works out: there is no happy-ending with a ribbon in real life. Not Y/YY, but that stuff always walks the line.

After Atem left Yuugi something very bad began to happen… One-shot.

------------------

_Can we climb this mountain  
I don't know  
Higher now than ever before  
I know we can make it if we take it slow  
Let's take it easy  
Easy now, watch it go _

_Watch it now ... here he comes!_

-- The Killers

------------------

"Vision with action is a daydream; action without vision is a nightmare."  
- old Japanese proverb

------------------

Mexico, Desert Area

"So, you are what I'll become." The twelve-year old Yuugi concluded thoughtfully. It had taken a while, but he was getting it. Gran'pa always said he was quick! He winced when he tried to smile, that was too much pressure for his left eye just yet. Owie.

The older of the two had downed a beer in a matter of gulps immediately after processing the other's frightened, confused "arrival," and then put the bottle out of view as if to cancel out the experience or something. "Mhm," The Yuugi 'that would be' said now, reaching over to grab two small bottles of water from a large pack. He unscrewed one of the lids and handed it to him, before guzzling down his own. The boy played with the cap, waiting for him to say something more earth-shattering but he didn't, so they both stared up at the stars in companionable silence.

"Does this happen to you too, then?" He asked in a small voice, lowering his eyes to the crackling fire. He tried not to breathe so deeply either, touching his side gently. Honda had big feet and hard shoes.

Yuugi gripped his bottle tighter until it indented. "Not 'does'…it only…" He looked at him, an unreadable expression weaving in his eyes. "But you _are_ me, so, yes. Still does." Does _and_ did…oh hell…

He sounded tired when he sighed and said to the pre-teen, "All the time." He looked up to watch the smaller boy adjust to wrap the blanket tighter, saw the small body physically weaken a little when he heard the unfortunate answer.

The boy asked, "Why?"

Ironic. This question he was ready to answer, engrained when he heard it but _hadn't _because what was happening now and in all the years of his life hadn't happened to him. "'You' are only half a person," he said, smiling sadly and opening one arm for him join him, which he did, as if to contradict the 'alone' part and make it more bearable. He mentally sighed. "And… it's not right. So you're existence is compensating by doing as much as you can; but it doesn't work that way because the rest of you isn't physically possible to find; it's not in this plane." _It's on the other side of a gods forsaken door._ "So you can't… stick." Stick, that was good. He was smart at that age, he remembered, but 'stick' was still the best analogy he could come up with yet.

Which could have been confusing on so many levels if he hadn't started drinking or smoking the moment the younger him had arrived. "Think of it this way: Normal people are a foot of Velcro to keep them in a specific existence, or place on a wall. You are only six inches—not enough to stick."

He used to think he was looking for someone, especially since he'd been raised with Grandpa every day saying that 'he was special, that there was a plan for him.' And especially after he'd been told 'this puzzle I want you to solve will give you anything.' But then he was given… and then he found… That feeling of incompleteness stopped and he thought it was over until the result of the Ceremonial duel brought it back again. When the confusion began to physically manifest and started to literally be unable to stay in one place for very long, he originally thought it was another adventure, involving destiny and finding _him _again…

But life doesn't work out that way. He was alone. He smirked. He was alone with only versions of his half-self, panicked, along for the ride.

His fingers were itching for a cigarette. But the younger him wouldn't appreciate or understand his need for them yet. He looked down and decided against explaining the concepts of ba and ka in a paganistic BS of a religion.

"So… who was it?" He asked, gesturing with his chin to the bruises.

"Eh?" He smiled up at him. "Oh, Jounouchi-kun and Honda-kun." He chewed on his bottom lip absently. "They're trying to teach me to be a man!"

Yuugi closed his eyes, trying not to laugh. "Really," he said, conversationally as possible. "Being a man _is_ important. Where did the tuna can come in?" He didn't have to blush when Yuugi at twelve was doing it for them; the older Yuugi knew without even looking that he was because he remembered doing it. Even though it hadn't.

…Good thing he drank a beer and a half, otherwise he would be so confused with this constant re-living/re-playing thing, half of which he _hadn't_ lived.

Even after six years after the Battle, Yuugi never "slipped" and wound up to wander around where someone he knew was or knew him, or where… uh, he had been, or whatever. He never "slipped" into an old classroom or a familiar park or apartment. A part of him wondered what he would do if he came across the old, violent Jounouchi or Honda… but then he knew would never, _ever_ lay a finger on either of them. He relaxed. "Hang in there," he said. "Hang in there for them and you will be a man."

The twelve year old eyes could have turned rivaled headlights with their happiness. "They _are _my friends!"

He ruffled his hair. "The best," and it was ironic because even though he still had that scar under his ear, he meant it with all his heart, all his half-soul. "They've got your back."

He felt the boy shift and look up at him with his oblivious, scarred face and wild hair. "Um," he began, and Yuugi braced himself. "Where is this… rest of me? Of us?"

This Yuugi was twelve. He'd been working on the Puzzle for three years. Again, Yuugi reviewed his suspicions involving a golden door, but sucking on his cheeks he was able to push it down. He couldn't change anything. And there was no way he could warn himself: 'Well, you see, the _darling_, and supposedly _responsible_ other side of you was really tired and said 'well this blows, I'm off! Later love!' and then walked off into the sunset. And it all came from this magical Puzzle that you're so obsessed about you'd burn in a warehouse for…' No, definitely not the right thing to say.

"Dunno," he lied instead. "Prolly why it's still happening." He realized this him didn't understand the lie yet, even though he could see them in other people. Reading people, Anzu said, reading people was a thing all ages of himself were supposedly good at, like breathing lie detectors. But it was dark, they were both tired, and since this _was_ him, the kid trusted the older one completely.

"Ah," the younger Yuugi said, breaking his thoughts. He nuzzled into his shoulder, sniffling as if he could feel the bruises appearing, and trying not to rub at the disinfectant the older him had bandaged his face with. "Mkay." He said with blank, wide eyes and a bloody nose. "Does it ever stop?"

"Yeah, for an absolutely amazing few number of years you… become whole. But it ends, and, ah, we revert back to where we started." He couldn't exactly say 'it starts' because now this was a completely different time line.

…_Kami-sama_, thank God for the beer.

He smirked into the fire, deciding it was probably not okay either to tell his twelve-year old self how he popped naked in 1847 Georgia the other week, and was attacked with rakes for sexual indecency. He was declared a witch for his abnormal appearance metaphysically (appearing in the street) and literally (naked and with weird hair), and was tied to a rock to test the witch theory by seeing if he could swim. He didn't stick long enough when they tried to push it over the hill. Thank the fucking gods. Christ, but it happened in harsher settings and improper locations the longer the period after His Highness left.

Yuugi took another swig of water, waiting and stewing. He rolled his eyes: maybe it was "the power of _Friendship_" that made the 'slippings' so much more intense after his OMGBESTFRIEND and Morning Star left. Or lack thereof said… friendship; maybe he missed Atem so much his soul was literally combing the living plains to find him now that it had tasted unity. He thought of his normal (albeit bloody) life as a child, looking at this very different case of kid form the corner of his eye. It hadn't happened when he was small, only after he stabbed a sword through his other self's heart. You can't miss what you've never had, after all. And… damn it all… he _had_ found him, every jealous, mind-crushing, psychotic part of him… and then lost him.

Willingly.

And apparently screwed up the rest of his life, until it rippled both ways.

Both parts of that contributing as to possibly why it got so much worse; the longer he was without him the greater his particle's turmoil and depression. It was odd, and maybe it was because of the beer and whatever else he could find to shoot up his system, but particle angst and random bouts of 'unstickiness' aside Yuugi felt quite fine.

"How long does it last?" the younger him yawned, nuzzling a bit deeper into the jacket covered with cold Mexican earth, fighting the urge to suck his thumb _pop_.

Before the quiet cackling of the fire, and sleeping dessert night, Yuugi wrapped his arms brought his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. He didn't look at the space beside him that he knew was empty, a fallen blanket and lingering young scent the only evidence another had really been there. His shoulders gave out and he pressed his forehead to block out the world like he did when he was older than the version that just left, and younger the first night he was truly alone again (_I am no longer the other you…_).

Liar, he thought dully. He wondered if the Other had known about this. Unlikely, but he needed someone to blame, and who else but the missing part of him that had left Yuugi behind, and caused all other parts of him in the past and present to pop around looking for him in this dimension (or whatever this was)? Could Yuugi himself have prevented this? In his knees, he gripped a fist of his hair tightly as his shut eyes in frustration. Had he messed something up, again?

_How long does it last?_

"Only forever," he whispered to no one, and praying that just once he could appear in ancient Egypt, but that was just one over too many possibilities. "Not long at all."

Yuugi knew that in five months during a silent crying session in his room after his dad left for business (yelling on the way out he wanted a son who would play soccer or baseball instead of Pokemon Gold), that twelve year old would 'pop' again, and an older him would let his emotions slip (because he was so wasted) when his twelve-year old voice asked what he had been too afraid to in the lonely desert…and what the kind and slightly more sober one wouldn't have said anyway:

"Just who am I looking for?"

It was dark room and there were suitcases all around. "I'll give you a boootyful hint," the older, sex-filled voice slurred with his older, angled eyes while a blonde woman stared incredulously from a hotel bed, "he sure as hell doesn't look a _thing_ like Jesus."

------------------

_We're burning down the highway skyline  
On the back of a hurricane that started turning  
When you were young _  
-- The Killers

------------------

It all started turning on you when you were young, dear Yuugi…seventeen to be exact, when you said goodbye.

And Yami sure as hell wasn't the saint he was painted as later in the anime. He was scary, messed up as all (censored).


	3. Theories of Emotion

Summary: Doma Arc. Prior to his duel with Kaiba, Amelda does something he shouldn't when his boss is gone, and has a little talk with someone he knows he shouldn't… _reeeally_ shouldn't. Implied Y/YY

Don't forget to squint for the plot!

------------------------

For those of you that don't know, Amelda joined the Doma Organization with the intention of making a world without war, and the brainwashed belief that the Pharaoh was the cause of all war with the Shadows still in the world. In the original Japanese, Amelda's brother Milko was killed when a tank he was in exploded. Dartz tricked him into thinking it was Kaiba's fault, and so Amelda makes Kaiba his enemy, swearing to defeat him after the duel where Oreikalkos was negated.

------------------------

_Some Theories of Emotion:  
1. Canon-Bard: emotions lead to physiological changes and actions  
__2. Cognitive appraisal: we decide what to feel after interpreting events  
__3. Impact bias: overestimating the effect of an emotional event  
__4. Social contagion: we catch emotions from others_

------------------------

It had entered his mind so suddenly that he wanted to talk the enemy of his enemy that when his master left he couldn't believe his fortune. And he was curious, because _technically_ this was his enemy too, being allied with the Pharaoh, the bringer of war and death. The explosions of tank, gasoline, and carbon dioxide consumed his brain every day, as potent and breaking as the cries of his brother. The darkness…it was all because of the Pharaoh that evil still lurked in the heart of Man.

He really shouldn't be here.

It wasn't hard to find the small boy's tablet. Dartz had mockingly left the host a space front and center for the Pharaoh to see and break apart at when he came for them, when they crushed him.

"Hello." He said. "You are the host-child right?" The one Rafael screwed up on…

He glared up at him "What do you want?" He said in a low, cynical voice, fantastically contrasting to such a face. The odd eyes that were wide like his brother's might have been, radiating and projecting distrust and anger… and underneath it what Amelda suspected was an omnipresent self-loathing and uncertainty.

Interesting, he expected a squeaky mouse and got a little lion. He could work with that.

"I want information."

He flared right up. "Well you can go screw yourself because I am not telling you anything about mou hitori no boku or the Puzzle so you might as well send me back!"

Hmph, well so much for a god feeding off of him and draining all his energy… "After that little summoning spectacle you did earlier, you're lucky you're just in a tablet, kid, and not already fed to our lovely Leviathan completely."

Yuugi glared. "You can't; the souls must be fed all at once and you're still a few short."

Ignoring his uncanny perception, Amelda looked at him critically. Smart mouth… "How old are you kid, twelve?"

"I'm seventeen!" He snapped, flushing and embarrassed. But he didn't look away. He clearly wanted to, but he didn't: the rest of him hadn't caught up with his jaded eyes yet.

His eyes widened. Damn. "Woah, that sucks, but seventeen is still a kid to me…"

------------

"So that is why you seek revenge against Kaiba-kun."

He tilted his head at the small boy. "You continuously speak of him in such a tone as if you are beneath him. But you have defeated him several times."

But he looked away. "Tha—that isn't me that fights," he said, cheeks going pink. "The other me that is walking around in my, uh, our…body…he defeats Kaiba-kun. I don't fight much. I don't…"

Amelda frowned. _This_ is the one Dartz feared? Amelda racked his brain, but he couldn't remember why his master had made the explicit order (which he had just broken) that this one should be locked away by the tightest of seals. Surely having him alive and able to dangle in front of the Pharaoh would have been a better use for this "bait." He licked his lips. Easy, too, he was so unassuming and clearly lacking confidence to be any kind of threat; yet Rafael swore the Pharaoh had been screaming, like he couldn't duel without him? Master Dartz mentioned it, too, right before the train went over the cliff and that annoying Haaga lost. "Why haven't you asked me to let you go?"

He looked at him and frowned, free of fear. "Well, you wouldn't, would you?"

"No…"

"Well then," and he cocked an eyebrow. "That is a silly question." And the way he said it, bitterly, Amelda felt he was quoting from someone.

"Kaiba's soul is my revenge," he said instead.

"His brother rigged a coin game on us once." Yuugi said vaguely. He didn't seem to be seeing him. Post-disorientation. His soul was probably still adjusting to not be sucked on constantly for vengeance against the Pharaoh's darkness. "He won anyway." He shook his head, the memory floating away and met his eyes. "He can't lose you know. Mou hitori no boku never loses."

"Uh, hello, kid, why do you think you're here?"

He brought his knees up and said nothing. "That wasn't a true duel, because that wasn't him dueling."

"The Oreikalkos only reveals the extremity of darkness in a holder's heart; it does not change the holder's identity."

"You're wrong!" He snapped suddenly and Amelda's jumped, startled at the degree of temper emitting from the boy. The defiance in his eyes, the clutched fists and tense body…he stared down over at him, and then laughed. "Stop it!" He said, "You're wrong, you don't know anything about him!"

"And you?" He asked. "He's shared your mind, pulse, and blood, and you can't even tell me his name." The boy deflated like a balloon, and Amelda voiced, "I've been wondering for a while though, what would happen had you played Oreikalkos instead."

"I wouldn't!" The boy snapped again, "That card is evil and makes you slaughter your monsters!"

"Just humor me for a moment, boy." He said testily, eyes hard.

Yuugi flinched and looked away. That stance… Amelda started. But the Pharaoh wasn't with him anymore! He couldn't be… The boy closed his eyes. "He won't forget me." He said strongly.

"How do you know?"

"I was a toy once, in a Game of Darkness a long," he smirked at the irony, "long time ago. I was the Dark Magician. I remember it looking so bad, so bad because was only just beginning to understand what a darkness game meant when I looked up and saw his face." His lips twitched to a smile. "He was looking down at me, and I just remember how… just how he had been watching me so concerned before I was even aware of it. Watching me with his hand poised to physically pick me up and make sure I made it to the next square okay, like he'd forgotten I could walk on my own. And I knew… I knew I'd be safe. He wouldn't let anyone touch me, he all but said it in my mind. I felt safe.

"That is why I know he won't forget me," he said. "You don't look at someone like that and forget them. No one ever looked at me like that before. Somehow I know he'd never done that, either, looked at anyone like that. It confused him, scared him.

"He doesn't understand his power, he doesn't like it. There's too much of him."

_No, boy, too _little.

"He's too powerful."

_He's not powerful at all without you. _"You brought him to your knees." He said smirking. "Broke him in then; he fell to pieces after you left. He's barely lasted two days so far and I don't have faith he'll last another with the useless way he maneuvers your body."

For the first time the boy looked away first. "He's going to leave me," he said. Amelda noticed he was clenching his fists, the skin turning white, as he glared at something. He didn't sound at all broken-hearted by it; if anything he was _angry_. "He's leaving anyway; he should not be doing things like that. I don't mind if he doesn't forget me, because for better or for worse I will never be able to forget him, but this is a level of hypocrisy even he has not before broken."

"Then why are you loyal to him?"

Yuugi looked mildly surprised. "Isn't that how you express love? Isn't that why you fight for your brother?"

"If you're going to kill me you might as well get it over with," Yuugi said casually.

"No," he said after a moment. "I couldn't hurt you. You're still just a child." He leaned back and swung his legs away. This wasn't getting him anywhere, not that he had started with a goal to begin with. But it was getting unnerving and he shouldn't be letting this one affect his judgment when it was already so clearly justified. The Pharaoh was evil; none could tell him otherwise. "Well kid," he said coolly, "I think I'm done with y—"

"He is too, you know." Yuugi was looking at him with a child-like (but not childish), inquisitive intensity as he cut him off.

"What, kid?"

He looked at him calmly and Amelda felt a little smaller. "You say I am a child still, that you cannot hurt a child. He is too then. By default. He's not much older than me you know. And a part of me. Mou hitori no boku and I, we are the same. Doesn't that make him a child, something taboo to hurt to your stated principles?"

He stared at the unblinking boy. "I…" He felt it then, something…something very bad. Was it power, the power of the Pharaoh's host? He didn't feel _power_ per se, that dark energy that oozed off the Pharaoh in tumultuous waves, but this… this must have been what Dartz had been muttering about. Something dangerous, yes, Mutou Yuugi was dangerous, Amelda decided, as a trickle of apprehension rand down his back. "Goodbye kid," he said, pressing a blank card into his duel disc.

He was brave about it, bracing himself only slightly against the pull, and he didn't fight. Those eyes, young and old at the same time, never left his. They shimmered, like he wanted to cry but not for himself and not for his ironically dependent Other. Amelda didn't like it, didn't want to think about a victim feeling pity for him instead when the kid was about to have his soul torn apart all over again and fed to a god. But _thank_ those gods he couldn't take by the banishment once it began, that once the light went away Mutou Yuugi was gone for good and none would be the wiser.

/He won't forget me./

He could just forget this whole…conversation…ever happened.

/He's going to leave me./

Two completely powerful, opposing statements that should not result in the same expression. One should be happy, in love. The other should be angry, in bitterness. They shouldn't be only one, and it definitely shouldn't be the first. The second shouldn't be so much _more_ full of love, so absent of hate.

Dangerous. Mutou Yuugi was dangerous. And despite that Amelda glanced across the dueling field at Kaiba with ice and indifference, he would have been lying if his hand wasn't shaking a little when he pulled Oreikalkos… and saw pensive eyes questioning instead of Dartz's god when he looked down. He imagined the Pharaoh falling and screaming for those wide eyes, and Amelda felt his own heart listening. He thought of his brother's memory.

Milko…

_You're just going to let him go?_

/How else can you fully express love?/

And Amelda didn't want to win anymore.


	4. The Dumbing Down of Love

Summary: Rewrite of episode 182. Before Yami could attack with the Knight of Destiny, Dartz pulled from his bag one last trick that even the Pharaoh may have to kneel to. Dark Y/YY

_Disclaimer: I don't own. Or it would be rated much higher._

--

It was not meant to be like this, Not what I planned at all. …Definitely all your fault. -- "The Walk," Imogen Heap

--

"Well." A slightly surprised voice announced. "That's it then, isn't it? There is no way I can win."

The nameless Pharaoh, Yami no Yuugi, laughed. "Your reign is over, Dartz! Now I will finish this and you will give me back my Aibou, and all the souls you have taken to feed your violent God! Atlantis will never unleash its dark writings and rape history!"

It was clearly over. Yugioh and Kaiba had marched through the temple's entrance, where Kaiba cleared the field and path for him. Kaiba had hissed at him he was fine and would handle Dartz with him later for daring to touch his precious corporation. The Pharaoh had smirked when Dartz contently turned from his prayer at the altar like he'd been expecting him and thought there wouldn't be enough of this idiot left for Kaiba.

The duel had begun like all his had, but rang distinctly empty for him… Yuugi's heart hadn't been near him or his cards at all, and perhaps that was why more blood and soul was so ruthlessly ripped from both sides. But that was his drive, _that_ was his glorious paradise of a reward when he took down the stupid Atlantian and saved the world and all that — that that heartbeat would be right where it belonged beneath his, warm and friendly and happy and _alive_…

The Knight of Destiny.

Dartz hadn't drawn his own powerful god defenses in time for them. The priest's traps…both looked at them and knew simultaneously the limitations of such things in the face of powers beyond infinity. The Game King smirked wider, "You're done, Dartz. Atlantis will sink back again to the bottom of the ocean where it belongs."

His opponent closed his eyes and smiled. "Yes, it seems so straight forward doesn't it? Your next turn and it's all over, and you win, right? And yet, you move so fast Pharaoh, because I have a _small_," he smiled wider, "addition to the game that I really must introduce at this time. Do you mind… your highness?"

The Game King widened his eyes, then narrowed them, holding his card tighter. What was Dartz planning? Should he play the golden bohemoth anyway or hold off? Form another strategy? He wished for the thousandth time Yuugi was there to ask. He could _not _let him down again… He closed his eyes, remembering Yuugi looking up at him before returning to the Leviathan a second time — _I believe in you — _before snarling again: "What are you talking about Dartz?"

"Let me show you." Dartz's turned slightly to the altar. "I've come too far to lose, and I should think you would actually be… _unspeakably_ happy, with the next turn of events—though that might be too much for me to hope for. So give me a preview, Pharaoh, when I ask you: how much do you want to see little Yuugi again?"

His opponent's body tensed even further, growled low and deadly, "Give him back." He hissed. "Or you'll realize even a millennia of suffering could not possibly prepare you for my wrath."

"I'm touched," Dartz drawled calmly, indifferently snapping his fingers. "In fact, just what I wanted to hear." He turned to the altar and sang, softly, "Come out…" He raised his hand and pulled as if something in the space before him were there, narrowing his eyes and raising his voice. "I call forth your soul!"

The empty mouths of the Leviathan filled with fire, the eyes of the beasts embroidered on the stone glowed green like the Seal of Oreikalkos. Yami no Yuugi took a step back, tense, teeth grit, wondering what Dartz would do to Aibou… and if it were possible to crush Dartz's mind when he prevented it.

He decided he didn't want to risk Yuugi's safety or their friends anymore.

"Knight of Destiny! Attack—"

But Dartz had closed his eyes and turned, focusing on the energy of his God on the empty Ceremonial pedestal to his left, a containment circle in an area equal distance between from him and the Pharaoh. Green light appeared there, and much like the graveyard duel Yami no Yuugi had encountered before, molecules of spirits began to cry out as they attempted to crawl from beyond the grave. But just one soul was needed, and he was quite a bit more silent from the rest. So when a small rectangle from the altar glowed within briefly, there was no scream of release as Yuugi Mutou's form materialized to hover in the air briefly before landing within the circular perimeter with a light thud.

Yuugi was shaking on all fours and gasping, head low as if bowing to the Pharaoh; but slowly he raised his head to meet Dartz's eyes. The Mirror Knight persona had been wiped off him, leaving him bizarrely normal and out of place while he looked around, as if he couldn't quite recall who he was or why he was there.

And Yami's monsters stopped moving right along with his will.

"AIBOU!" The Dark Yuugi cried out, using every bit of control not to run over to him -- _He's alive. He's alive He's alive He's alive!_

Everything would be all right, everything felt right, the world was a little more correct.

And that chain inside of him was pulling so hard and desperately to Yuugi — so _physical_… "Aibou are you all right!"

Yuugi looked at him with eyes wide. "Mou hitori no boku!" He began to smile; he half stumbled getting up but he didn't care. He didn't know why Dartz brought him back but he didn't care, he was going to run to his pharaoh and they'd kick Dartz's ass and—"GAH!" He yelped out as he tried to step outside the circle but abruptly fell back down on his back. Like a whiplash… he grunted and tried to catch his breath.

"Aibou!"

Something…grabbed his wrist? Shaking from the pain, Yuugi lifted his right hand and his eyes widened in horror. No, something was _on_ his wrist, yanking him back! Slowly, unable to understand what was going on, he traced the large, stone handcuff on his wrist and followed the chain that wrapped behind him to…to…

The chain didn't end exactly, it was swallowed on contact to become part of the stone Leviathan altar behind him.

"What's wrong little Yuugi?" Dartz said breezily, as Yuugi stared at it blankly. "A little confused? A little stuck?"

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" The Pharaoh screamed, causing Yuugi to jump and Dartz to laugh out loud. "Let him go, LET HIM GO RIGHT NOW!" The cards were clutched in his hand, the winning cards temporarily forgotten in his fury. Oh Dartz would pay, what he did to Haaga would be _nothing_ like what he would do to Dartz when Yuugi was back by his side — NOTHING at all, and there was no Mazaki to stop him this time; he'd lock Aibou somewhere safe and hit Dartz again and again with the arm of _Osiris_ and the Shadows ripping his flesh until the end of time — _never_, never, never would he let this happen again, and it was this mantra that kept Yugioh's Shadows from bursting through another god's shrine and blowing up the entire arena; he _had to save his partner_.

He was too angry to be frightened of himself.

"The rules are quite simple." Dartz announced, smirking. He turned to Yuugi to be polite; what he was about to say did concern him slightly after all. "I have rewritten the rules of Leviathan to participate in a relationship not unlike the Pharaoh to the Puzzle." He smiled at a bewildered Yuugi, who was still realizing he wasn't a stone tablet anymore, and began glaring at the insane priest. "And, so like when the Puzzle shattered and the King was lost to you, so that in the destruction of Leviathan, Yuugi, you, will also be destroyed."

Dartz felt time stop for one, powerful figure, in front of him. But as tempting as it was Dartz didn't break eye contact with the boy to see the king's horror. Timing was everything here… 'Play your part, little boy,' he called him silently. 'You have no idea how very little you have to do to convince the next events to fall as they will…' No, there were no escapes to this for the irritating Pharaoh.

Little Yuugi was either too far gone from having his soul lingering in limbo or truly wasn't afraid of anything the man said. Instead with eyes narrowed his young mouth curved upwards and he laughed out his words: "Well, that isn't such a difficult choice—me or the world?!" Yuugi laughed even louder…unconsciously pulling again against the chain (_good_ boy!). "It isn't a choice at all!" He screamed. "Isn't it, Mou Hitori no Boku! Show hi—"

He stopped.

There was an expression on the Pharaoh's face Yuugi had never seen before, as he stared at Dartz. His arm was still raised slightly to order the creature, but his arms, his hand, his fingers! Yuugi had never seen them… so frozen, stiff. His dark eyes, where even from his position Yuugi saw… he saw emotions, too fast for him to understand, or too old. Why—why wasn't he responding to Dartz's threat?! Calling his bluff? He seemed to be hesitating but WHY?

"Mou-hitori no boku?" He shouted; he fought down horror—why was it there? There was no reason! "What are you waiting for?" Nothing. "PHARAOH, PHARAOH YUGIOH!" _This is such an easy decision! We've been in situations like this and made it! This is bigger than me—the answer is so _obvious!

"You're a liar Dartz!" He snarled to the priest. "You can't do this because you need the Pharaoh's soul! You've entered Leviathan onto the playing field and you can't attack without it!"

Dartz gave a slow, frightening smile. "Yes, it does need one more soul…and I've decided to give it mine."

Yuugi stared at him.

"You're insane! You're an insane lunatic—"

"If the Pharaoh attacks, Leviathan and Atlantis will be destroyed and all the other souls will be released…except yours. Yours will be with us forever."

Dartz turned from him, raising his hands in mock helplessness. "What will it be, Pharaoh?"

A switch in Yuugi's brain turned off all sound, even his heartbeat, all he could understand was the heat in the Pharaoh's eyes as he ripped through him, like he was moving inside of him, going past his eyes and deep inside to touch his soul and wrap it around his tightly. Those eyes Yuugi thought he knew so well locked onto his, and a chill ran down Yuugi's spine.

"M-Mou hitori…" His voice cracked and he felt sick and very frightened. He didn't understand the intensity, didn't want to know what it meant. _What are you waiting for? _"This, this isn't that difficult of a decision! Just me—one person!—or the world! The world: my family, my friends—_our _friends!"

Oblivious, he pulled again at the chain (Dartz laughed quietly: _perfect_ boy!), as if he could revert to spirit form and shake the Pharaoh out of his obvious temporary insanity. "_Have you forgotten them_?! Snap out of it!"

"I am not finished speaking, Pharaoh," Dartz said quietly, knowing he had his enemy's full attention even before his opponent's head jerked in his direction. Good, almost-puppet. Hm, a divine, breathing god made tame at the inference of a little boy! "Don't think about joining him if you continue the path of the golden hero and let him save the world with his great sacrifice. There's no reward waiting for him, Pharaoh. His soul won't even make it to Ammet, let alone Paradise like you."

"What do you mean?" Yugioh recoiled, as if he wanted to step away, not sure whether to scream at him some more or clutch his head and block out his voice. "What are you talking about?"

"Yuugi is a part of me now. Send Leviathan to the hell you described at the beginning and Yuugi goes with it." He smirked. "What was it? 'A darkness past Atlantis at the bottom'? Fire and Shadow, 'constantly feasting, picking, tearing on the soul'? Something like that I believe."

Yami's brain was moving in slow motion. This wasn't happening, this wasn't…it…he wasn't…it couldn't…he looked at… Yuugi. _Aibou._ Remembered Aibou. Aibou. Aibou smiling, crying, touching him, poking him, yelling at him. Yuugi's hands beneath his around the Puzzle… All the Spirit could see was his… he was pulling against a _chain_…

It hurt, like a stone in his shoe. It didn't go away in the blink of an eye. It tasted like something familiar. Something he'd known his whole life.

"Pharaoh," Yuugi was saying, eyes wide (but so worn and damaged), "I'm not afraid."

But he was pulling on the chain again unconsciously, as if he wanted to reach out and reassure him, but that was all his other self saw. Yuugi was so young… he was so young and it wasn't fair and he, the Game King needed him, _wanted_ _him_—he couldn't do anything without him…

"Your move Pharaoh."

_Aibou_.

The link was gone, but it bounced around Yuugi's insides and rang in his heart so loudly with that look in the other's eyes he almost fell to the floor from his frozen crouch. He could not look away, could not fight the shock. His eyes widened. "O-Other…"

_How can I hear you?_

"You've been left in the dark before." The Spirit said quietly, but it reached Yuugi's ears all the same, and he didn't know how to react.

The Pharaoh was looking at his cards, lowering his head, preparing — yes! Tears welled in Yuugi's eyes and he was only a little afraid but that was okay, this was okay and—wait—what?

"W-What are you doing?" He asked softly, incredulously. "Other me what are you doing?!" He couldn't, WOULDN'T do what he thought he was doing! "OTHER ME! Stop it! _Snap out of it_!"

"Your move, Pharaoh." Dartz was smirking. Knowing. Knowing what? KNOWING WHAT?

And his hand _was_ moving but why did it look so wrong? No one ever lowered their hand like that just to t—Yuugi's lost all sense of his body. NO! MOU HITORI NO BOKU DON'T YOU _DARE_! Don't you _dare_ choose me over the world— "S-STOP IT! You don't know what you're _doing_!"

_waiting so long, (I've lost you once… twice…). (He never saw him look so sincere. "I want to be with you always." )_

He heard screams, though most of it was the roar of an awakening ocean god as the souls were harvested, Dartz's triumphant laughter. Then there were the screams of the souls fed to the god and power, and more as power emitted roaring and sweeping: set free and alive. But some of it was his, his wrist burned as the Leviathan's chains melted and ripped from his flesh, his soul, as he was released from its influence completely. He was still screaming NO NO NO NO NO, still screaming when he fell, when he was caught before he hit the ground and held tightly, desperately. The puzzle around his neck flashed and the link came flooding back, and the protective gold was sucking him in from the Death but Yuugi couldn't even hear his pharaoh's _soul _amongst all the chaos.

And then he realized some of it _was_ his idolized other self babbling so desperately: "never, not you I couldn't, not you oh Gods Aibou, _Yuugi_, never I could _never_, anyone else but _NOT YOU_."

Somehow he could see it: how all began to turn like silver glass like Rafael had painted it in his mind: a light on the water, a darkness so bright it seemed that way, but stretching across the entire world. Hope faded, like true light, and Dartz laughed as it spread to the souls of every crib and entered every grave, the ink of history dripping down the marker board, rewritten and submissive the second the nameless spirit king himself to him—_threw it all away_—and clutched a tiny boy in the darkness of the Puzzle, crying to each other 'oh gods I hate you I love you I thought I lost you I lost you.'

Shadows were flying up, wrapping around the two like a cocoon from the green light of Atlantis. Yuugi beat his smaller fists against his other's chest, cursing him and crying—_Jounouchi, Grandpa, Mom, Anzu all gone_!, just as his darkness kissed his head /back, back, so thankful, just the thought alone/ and continued to draw Yuugi so close his larger body could swallow and melt it into his; that soul, the one he never, EVER, wanted to be without again: that soul, Dartz had mused, that had been the perfect bait.

The Millennium Puzzle fell with a heavy clunk to the ground, magic forever sealed up and lost.


End file.
